The Ducks, Where are They Now?

Recently the cast of the D2 The Mighty Ducks reunited for the 20th anniversiry of the film. It only felt appropriate to have a little fun and wonder, What ever happened to The Ducks? These are their stories…

Coach Bombay- Gordon Bombay enjoyed a great and lengthy career working for the Jr. Goodwill games. However during the recession he was unfortunately laid off. He decided to take his coaching magic overseas to the KHL. While celebrating a big playoff win with his team at a local bar he ran into the guy who took out his knee in the minors and ultimately ended his hockey career. Filled with alcohol and rage he charged the man and started a massive bar brawl resulting in him being arrested and taken away by the Russian police. No one has heard from him since…

Charlie Conway- Captain Duck went on to captain the Eden Hall Ducks to multiple National Championships and cemented himself in Minnesota hockey history. After he graduated from Eden Hall he decided to move back home to Minneapolis and settle down. While on a visit to Harvard to see Averman he bumped into a nice young man named Mark who had invented this new internet site “The Face..something”. Charlie took his money he earned working at the old hockey shop back home and invested it in Marks new internet site idea. Turns out he made millions off this investment and now hopes to one day buy the Dallas Stars in order to move them back to Minnesota.

Fulton Reed- After prep school Fulton Reed decided to stay at home and enjoy the simple life. He was a local legend and moved back home to play a few more years for his local junior hockey club. After a brief stint in the roller derby league he took his talents to local fairs and traveled the country side. He was known for his clapper cage where he would routinely take on willing participants to see who had the better clap bomb.

Greg Goldberg- Famous for inventing the pizza burger, Greg Goldberg went on to own his own restaurant which then turned into one of the most successful franchises to ever come out of Philly. He has wrote several cook books and thoroughly stresses the philosophy of carb loading. He is currently applying to become a judge on Master Chef.

Lester Averman- Les Averman graduated Eden Hall as valedictorian and went on to play Division 1 hockey at Harvard. After leaving university and burning out in the newly formed tech hype, he was last seen renouncing all of his worldly possessions to join the gypsy life. Rumor has it he got really into drugs and was lost in the Electric Dance Music scene…

Adam Banks- In his senior year at Eden Hall Adam Banks broke records all over the country and was drafted straight out of prep school. He spent many years in the minors putting in his time and trying to breakthrough. He was called up to NHL for a few games at the end of the season and showed promise. Unfortunately the next season was a lockout and while playing in Europe he was involved in a freak runaway Zamboni accident. He never played hockey again….

Dean Portman- After finishing up his year at Eden Hall with the rest of the Ducks, Portman moved back to Chicago to support his ailing mother. No one really ever heard form Dean Portman after this. Rumor has it he started his own motorcycle gang called the “Sons of…” something, I can’t really remember. He is currently involved in an ongoing investigation, he was unavailable for comment…

Dwayne Robertson- Dwayne “Cowboy” Robertson dropped out of Eden Hall after his freshman year so he could go back and work on the farm. He parlayed his celebrity status into a reality TV show where he survives in the wild with only his hockey stick and skates to hunt and survive.

Russ Tyler- Russ Tyler rode the knuckle puck to stardom. His over the top personality and quick wit landed him a job working for ESPN as a color commentator. He became a huge financial success with his knuckle puck trainer infomercial.

Luis Mendoza- After learning to stop Luis Mendoza was one of the most heavily recruited prospects in the country. After his junior year at Eden Hall he quit hockey to pursue a career as a Calvin Klein underwear model. After years of traveling the world and living life in the fast lane he permanently settled in LA and has become the best power skating coach in the country. In the off season he spends his time hosting Dancing With The Stars.

Ken Wu- Kenny Wu finished his career at Eden Hall and went back to his roots as a figure skater. He won multiple Olympic Gold Medals and has since decided to take on the challenge of hockey once again. He is currently a skating coach for many professional hockey players and even started his own coaching philosophy. Something about hockey analytics?