Loading ...
Hey USA Learn To Chirp
Blog — By intheoradio on October 17, 2011 3:45 PMIn The O… took the show on the road this past weekend and travelled to a foreign nation to take in a pair of junior hockey games. This foreign land you ask… well none other than the United States. A
s I have mentioned in my other posts, I run an OHL Radio Show, that can be heard through the website www.intheoradio.com and the reason for the weekend road trip, solo I might add, was to take in Weekend action of the Plymouth Whalers. Friday against the Niagara IceDogs and Saturday night against the Sarnia Sting during Plymouth’s Annual “PinkOut!” night to support breast cancer. I don’t think I need to say it, but I am PRO Boobies and CON Cancer. In 2 Nights I would arguably see 3 of the top 4 teams in the Ontario Hockey League and 4 of the top 10 teams in the the Canadian Hockey League. So needless to say it was a great business weekend for me to head out, get video and audio interviews and meet and greet my fans (cuz I’m such a star). Sadly though, I found out that the art of chirping, even in ‘HockeyTown USA’ is not commonly practiced and that this Nation needs some help. But rather than teach them how to chirp properly I will just expose either their ignorance… or their stupidity… granted some of them were drunk… but no free passes here… unless you are TopShelfBeauty or Foxy…(Just Having fun with fellow staff writers) So below are the chirps I received as I proudly shown I was a Canadian Hockey fan.
Needing to be up for 7:30 am on a Saturday morning is generally not a problem, but to head out to a used tire dealer just so I can drive safely, I take exception to that. I decide to dress and label myself as a Canadian in this foreign land, proudly representing my love of Hockey and my nation with a Hockey Canada hoodie (My GSG Canuck hoodie has not arrived in the mail by this point). I take three steps out of my hotel lobby and cue the American chirps,
“Haaackey Canada! Your from Canada? Haaackey Canada sucks, Go RedWings!”
I take exception to this chirp on a few principals, one being it isn’t quality. Not even close. How can you attempt to make fun of someone by telling them that their national team program sucks but a singular team in the NHL is better? does that make sense to anyone else? the second point is what is ‘Haaackey’? where did this long ‘A’ sound come from. it is Hockey, with an ‘O’ (I later found out that this ‘accent’ and ’southern drawl’ is prominent in Michigan, audio evidence below). So after telling this lady that she is dumb, and that a Canadian is arguably on of the greatest Red Wings captains of all time, but that same Red Wings Captain guided Canada to the last Olympic Gold Medal I walked away with my head held high because ‘She got served!’(is that even cool anymore)
About 30 minutes later at the closest Tim Horton’s Bake Shop and Cafe, I was intro’d to the ‘everything is bigger in Texas’ theory. Ordered a large steeped tea, double double with milk, when I found out 3 things: There is no such thing as steeped tea, they don’t know what a ‘double double’ is and a large size is equivalent to a Super Big Gulp from 7/11… after the server saw me gawk at the size of the beverage she said to me,
‘I guess we aren’t playing haaackey in Canada now are we…’
Really? this again? what does that mean? I am ordering a Steeped Tea (Manly isn’t it) which has nothing to do with hockey. Secondly, why do Americans jumbo mega size everything? and thirdly… most importantly… Shut up and get me my cinnamon roll, I need breakfast to go with a weeks worth of tea in a single serving. Hey, maybe this is the morning crowd, the drunken afternoon ramblings of 20 something year old Americans must be better than this right?
In the afternoon there is a big NCAA game on as far as the state of Michigan is concerned, the UM-MSU football game. I was really oblivious to the game until I walked into a bar that specializes in 100+ flavour of wings. As I walk in, you feel everyone staring as there is Green on the left of me… and Blue on the right… and here I am in a Red hoodie, representing the sport of Hockey (Michigan State=Green, Michigan=Blue). When I sat down next to some Wolverine fans the one immediately turned to me after placing his beer back on the bar and says,
“Canada Suck, haaackey Sucks, Wolverines Rule!”
So can anyone tell me what is wrong with this one? Now even though I am a Michigan Wolverine fan, I couldn’t help but laugh at him. Again, learn to chirp, telling me my nation sucks is one thing. heck it shows you have an intelligence level of a 4 year old by just blurting out random words to make a fragmented sentence. Here is a central theme, how come Americans cant make an O sound… I mean the girls at the rink have no trouble making O faces… ok too far. but seriously it is not 3 A’s it is one O in hockey. Then you end it by saying ‘Wolverines Rule!’ what time of logical line of progression is this? Being the smart ass that I am, I smile at him and point to the scoreboard, as so many of us hockey players have done through out the years. Michigan State was leading Michigan 14-7 en route to a 28-14 victory. From this point on… we were on polite terms to say the least, as he liked to turn to his buds and harp on Canada knowing I could hear him. That’s cool, 4 on 1 ain’t my style.
Game is done and I am now creeping in the mall as I needed a Flaming Pink shirt (Top Photo) for the ‘PinkOut!’ game that night because again, I am PRO Boobies. Gotta show the support. Looking to get some DQ for the sweet tooth after putting back a few pints and wings, so I go up to a gaggle of gooses, ‘excuse me, you happen to know if there is a DQ in the mall, and where it is?’ I ask them. So Mother hen steps up and says,
‘The Canadian can’t find the Dairy Queen? do you know where your teeth are Mr. Hockey?’
What is wrong with people today? I suppose some of it is my fault for attempting to go up to a group of ladies with seemingly no interest in their looks or desperate cry for attention, but all I want is a peanut butter cup blizzard. Why are you asking if I know where my teeth are? FYI, they are all accounted for. It isn’t like I went up to you and tried to wheel and deal a potential 4 corners match on the King Size bed back in the hotel. I just want Ice cream. Now, I have a high tolerance when it comes to putting up with female attitude, but this time, after previously getting heckled for wearing a sweater on a cold windy day, I had to let mother hen know what is up, ‘well honey, if you don’t know where the DQ is that is fine, I can ask someone else, but on my way to this mall, I did see the gym, and clearly you are a fan of muffins since your top is showing.’ Exit Right.
Based just on this experience alone, I have learned that the common American does not know how to heckle. Thankfully when I was back at the rink, I got to hear real Americans giving it to hockey players. And while I was telling this tale to my new friends in town, saw these two beauts rocking out the Muzzy’s and of course representing the brand in a foreign land. After they were gracious enough to pose for the photo after telling them I am a writer for GSG, they proceeded to crack some jokes at my expense. Most notably how i was probably a big creeper and wanted the photo of them to put on my ceiling to stare at them while I sleep. And after the day I had… I just nodded at them and we had a good laugh as we raised a glass.
The roadie to Plymouth, Michigan was a success from a business standpoint and a personal stand point. not only did I get great video and audio interviews, and made some new business associates and friends along the way. I had a pretty killer story to tell and also make fun of Americans in the process. And for this Proud Canadian Hockey Media personnel and fan… it doesn’t get any sweeter than that… Did I forget to mention we are the reigning Olympic champions… or is the USA still licking their wounds and pretending that it never happened lol.
GSG Nation, what is the worst Chirp from a foreigner you have ever heard? are they as bad as my Saturday? drop the comment below.
oh… and lets make fun of this southern accent from Michigan… as the table broke out laughing, a bud tweeted this out…
‘@KeithDorson: We just broke @intheoradio. Sorry Internet. #BestTripEver’
How a Southern Accent broke @intheoradio
162 Comments
haha great read
yess sir
lol
haha ok good read but lets not generalize the the ignorant people you ran into because I’m from MI and I say hOckey and know how to chirp.
It is the ‘one bad apple’ syndrome. In the rink there was no problem. It was outside the rink at a store or parking lot or with Michigan wolverine fans lol.
99% of the people you see outside a hockey rink have no clue about hockey and could get out chirped by a 12 year old.
hahah unreal
great read
proud to be american.
good read keep them coming
Hahaha this is one of my favorites. I’m embarrassed to be American now
hilarious chirp at the broadie!
Agreed. Beauty chirp, I try to avoid chirping b-rods (TRY) but sounds like the lot lizard deserved it. Well done Gov.
you must’ve ran into every bandwagon hockey fan out there…and one wolverine fan that knows nothing haha. i dislike Canadian drivers… O.o
The fact USA posts a min and max is awesome. The fact that the max becomes the min is crazy to me. Doesn’t anyone consider gas mileage anymore?
USA
agree
hate to say it but this is so true
im from michigan and can chirp and can pronounce hockey correctly. im sorry you ran into such idiots here though
Totally agree, there’s always one idiot that ruins it for the rest.
Absolutely, being a Flyers fan, I can completely relate to this.
I was in Minnesota for the hockey season last year, and I almost lost my mind, “hockey state”.. maybe you can find enough people there that know anything about hockey to fill a village, so good to be home!
hahha beauty read
Ha yeah, we had this guy from PA on our team a few years back (everybody called him PA … really original?) One night, he was telling this story at the bar after a game, and he said “So we’re at this haaackey torn-ament …” and I literally could not stop laughing. But I must say, two of my good girlfriends are from the states and absolutely LOVE hockey, there are a few gems south of the border, they’re just not as easy to spot
(Like my sister from another mister, Miss Coach’s Sister!)
USA
Canada. Some americans get it, just the majority of them are lost when it comes to being a hockey player
You left out the part that you only at fries the entire time you were here.
haha yanks
Canada
That was great, new book to come “Chirping for Dummies”
that was a good read
canada for the win
My old lineys name was Hand, and some plug chirped, “Hey Hand….Wheres Foot?” Even the ref was laughing at him
Cant say michigan has the most brilliant residents, but its where I’m rostered and the local boys on my team are in a bush league of their own when it comes to chirps. I love it though haha.
awful chirps
good blog. funny stuff. remember trying to buy a toque in a North Dakota sports store and the guy tried selling me Tuuks. Had never heard the word “toque” before – i guess they call them stocking caps. Had a good laugh at that guy.
being from Michigan I can agree with what you’re saying. the retard to beauty ratio is VERY skewed. it’s actually embarassing.
Retard to beauty ratio haha Keither that’s amazing, I actually just laughed so hard. Gonna tell the boys that one for sure.
not all americans chrip bad, dont you worry. chirping hockey itself is just wrong.
haha canadians dominate
lmao good read
hahaha
hahaha
haha great read
great read
I love when the americans come up here to visit… our house ladies n gents
good read
I was in a mall in Chicago reppin my jets hoodie when some fatty walks up and says “nice hoddie” with a stupid smirk on his face. Like thanks buddy sick chirp…….. Retard
great read haha
you chirped them for not saying the ‘o’ sound when canadians can’t say the ‘ou’ sound?
ahahaha friggen cheese heads. most New Englanders pronounce the “O” in hockey. only chirps i heard from foreigners were from the swedes in the swedish exchange and i dont have a clue what they said
USA
great read
Canada, nuff said
good read!
sick chirps by the american rope swallowers
You were legit in my corner of town (greater Detroit area), and needless to say, there are a ton of idiots around here. Though I dunno what Timmy’s you went to, the one by my place knows what a double double is.
USA!!
Good read
Hahaha, great read. I’m an American, but it’s so true. Americans don’t know how to chirp when it comes to hockey. The only Americans who do learn from Canadians.
I’m American, and it’s true. I learned my chirps from a great Canadian friend.
been to Plymouth for a junior game and they have no clue about puck
CANADIAN HAAAAAAAACKEY IS UNREAL SILLY AMERICANS ….
hockey and chirping is our game
“Hey, number forty-four, you – you – you – you- you play – you don’t play real good.”
- Kenny Wu, D3
I do agree that for the most part, Americans are just as bad at chirpin as they are at managing healthcare…however in my experience the best American’s chirpers are in Boston, where the bitter fans make fun of their own teams 1000x harder then anyone else…these guys are my favs http://www.daysofyorr.com
Im from Minnesota and have the utmost respect for all Canadian hockey boys, its the real deal up there.
what a duster
For some reason all my yank buds at school love saying I’m from “Canadia” like its the slickest chirp ever created..just bust their gut about it after too and it never gets old to them..sick chirp I’m really stumped after that one.
Great read, sorry you ran into such knuckleheads. We’re not all like that, some actually can pronounce hockey, too
U.S.A.
who won Olympic gold in men’s hockey? CANADA
great read. if we canadian’s suck so much at haackey, why do we consistently lead the world in the sport as well as have the most players participating in the nhl (the highest calibre of hockey other than the olympics or world championships. Learn to chirp better, not just by where someone is from. A good chirp can really throw off someone’s game
I’m an American and I wouldn’t chirp about Canada. Unless its Vancouver. Hate those dusters. Go Hawks!
red white and gold baby
canada!!
bunch of shitshows
CANADA
hahah classic read
Love visiting the GSG blogs… makes my day!
so true
chirp 101
These are the type of people who make me ashamed to be American. I always allow people to think I’m Canadian..
solid work
good read
solid work
Good read. I like the muffin shot. Solid
haha, work in progress boys, damn amateur hour
Haha, you gotta cut those first couple people a break. They live in Detroit.
chiiirp
wow thoes were not good
typical yankee yips
Canada>USA
that texas accent bugs the shit out of me
INTHERADIO you’re a gem
Being From Plymouth I am pretty sure some of this stuff didnt happen 1 no Dairy Queen in the area 2 Tim Hortons have same size drinks here as they do in Canada. 3 we love our brothers to the north even though they dont like the fact that there is a team playing in the U.S. that is part of the OHL.. If you did come across a idiot or 2 I wouldnt doubt that. But of course they are everywhere! Keep up the good work
I understand the skepticisim. 1. I really had no idea if there was a DQ around. just wanted a blizzard and had no idea if or where I can get one.
2. No they are not the same size… not even close.
as for 3… I don’t mind it. makes great stories.
Canadians thinkin hockey is their sport, what beauties…nice pink camcorder bud! haha!
Canadians will ALWAYS rule Ice Hockey. Good read some funny shit in here!
CANADA!
I have to say the first chirp was the worst, but the main reason that it was bad was the fact a chick said it. And I am from Michigan and as long as i have been playing hockey i have never hear anyone pronounce hockey with a bunch of A’s. So you must have been running into a bunch of plugs who don’t no the first thing about hockey. You wanna meet some people who actually know how to chirp find a hockey player not some plug in a bar.
Well said Smeeks!
Proud American, but common guys, bring your A game or shut up
Proud canadian birth place of gsh
love a good chirp
haha great read
hilarious
brutal chirps
who are these plugs
a couple of those actually made me feel bad for whoever said it
good read
hahahaha
good read
hilarious.
so funny
hahaha
Canadians have sick chirps
Someone in Texas tried to teach me about hockey “to play ice haawwwky you haaave a stiiick with a cuuurve and you shoot the baaawwwwlll into the caaayyge for a gaaawwwl.” what cage? ball? gtfo, I’m from Canada, I know my shit -__- it was pretty damn funny though
fuck canada
its hockey
haha good read
sick!
hahah
funny
Haha!
Those chirps are just terrible, that 8 year old kid using GSH chirps has better style than those Yanks
leggo canada
usa
duuusters
lmfao
we are talking about the US
lol ahah great read
Yea no one gives a shit about hockey down here sadly
canada.
cnanda!@#
great read
haha pretty funny, although as a hockey player and hockey fan from the mitten I have to say that it sounds like you ran into some clowns on your trip here that misrepresent us. ive never heard anyone say haaackey or ever received any flak for rocking my roots canada hoody. just some bad apples, go USA!
Those are just embarrassing to read oh man..
haha hilarious
minnesota can chirp hard
O CANADA BABY
#Canada
proud to be a Canuck
nucks <3
Canada eh forever
Canada<3
CANADA!
Youre ripping Americans for being ignorant and making generalizations of Canadians , however, this article is doing the same thing to American’s. Also, granted this is a blog, proof reading is still a good thing to do
Love the hackeyy expression lol. Go senators baby!
Nice!
love this! Canada > USA
Awesome Read!
go CANADA!
Lol jokes
lmao
haha
hahahahahaha i can just hear that accent.
haha terrible chirps
cool
Canadaaaaaa ftw
nice stuff
true canadian blood
haha chirp chirp chirp