5 Steps To Great Hockey Hair (Video)

Blog — By on August 31, 2011 10:11 AM

So your a hockey boy eh? You may have noticed over the years, that every hockey player at some point in his career, must follow a right of passage to stay in favour with the hockey Gods. Yes, the sacred hockey hair – a timeless event which usually occurs in one’s career during his Junior Hockey days, and usually once more if the superior athlete continues playing after Junior in College or Pro Leagues.  Here is the www.GongshowGear.com Top 5 Tips on growing hockey salad that even your hairdresser will be jealous of….

 

1. Circle the Calender - Hockey Hair takes time to flourish, and can not be rushed.  Take your calender out on your phone or agenda and circle the date when the ideal time for you would be to be doing laps in warmy with ReDONKulous salad blowing in the wind behind your neck.  Imagine hair flowing out your ear flaps as if you were a straw scare crow in a farmer’s field–  with a helmet jammed on your head made of straw.  Inspired already?  Circle the date (ideally around playoffs you want your hair to be performing at the top of its game).  Now here is the key – most people underestimate how long flow takes to develop.  You need AT LEAST 6 MONTHS for your hair to hit its stride – don’t cut this short, or you could be left in the dreaded “Land of in between Flow Stage” (see later point).  Now, you have a timeline and  you’re ready to start growing the hair that will make  you play better on the ice, and wheel more off of it – time for the next step!

2. Starter Flow -  Go to the hairdressers for a “Starter Flow Cut”.  Bring a picture in of some sweet flow on your phone of a NHL player if needed, as sometimes hairdressers can be plugs and just don’t get what you want – you certainly don’t want her thinking your striving for the 1990′s Jaromir Jagr mullet which was as ballsy as it gets.  Explain to her, you would like free flowing hair in the back and sides, and you just need her to clean up the sides for you so the growth can begin.  Mention to her you won’t be seeing her for a while, and that in a few months you will be back (see later point)

3. The Dark AgesAnyone that has pulled off masterful hockey salad will be the first to tell you that its not all throwig hammers (looking unreal)  while sweat whips off your flow during a scrap at center ice – there is a down time, a time so dark and scary that most hockey players fold up like a cheap lawn chair at your buddies college house – THIS IS KEY – You must fight through this dark stage – the juice is worth the squeeze  -trust those that have pulled off such flow greatness before you.  Battle through these months, which involve finding a great hockey lid (see Gongshow), patience like a Monk, an ability to take a few chirps from the fellas, and sadly – a drop in your wheelin ability slightly for just these months, as friends and girls alike will wonder just what the hell kinda hair your trying to pull off…..

4. A New BirthLike a beautiful pregnant lady who begins to show her baby bump, your wonderful and silky flow begins to emerge.  Slowly, a few curls develop behind yourbucket, and you notice a couple strands of hair poking out your ear holes  like a few peices of wheat grass yearning for water – you are almost there. At night, you condition your hair so that it gets i’ts nutrients to keep growing ( this is key).   At this point you may need a slight maintenance trim on the sides of your hair – do NOT let her take too much off, just trim the sides so you don’t look disgusting.  Girls will start complimenting you here and there, your wheeling begins to increase, and your on ice performance begins to improve.  Passes get more solid, your shot is more accurate – and you feel as though you could stand  your own at centre ice with the other team’s heavy.  Most of all, with your own teammates, as well as the opposing players on the ice – you notice a certain level of respect developing towards you – your flow is briging you this respect. Its happening, almost there….

5. FLOW - You did it! Your now a certified Flowtician.   6 months of tender loving care, you battled through the dark stages  and you finallly made it – you now have joined other great hockey beauties in a timeless ritual passed on from hockey players to hockey player through the generations.  Enjoy these times, take lots of picsi on and off the ice, and remember to always respect the flow – don’t ever take it for granted and don’t let it get out of control.  Flow must not be left to grow like weeds, it takes nurturing and most of all – know when to call it quits.  Like any great hockey player, when you can’t grow the salad on top anymore as you get older, don’t steep to the low of pulling the SKULLET ( which is a bald guy on top and hockey hair in back, only revealed when his bucket comes off in a fight – google Al Iafrate from the 94 All star Game for 1 reason not to ever grow the Skullet).   Enjoy your salad!  Look Good, Feel Good, Wheel Good!

116 Comments

  1. Colesy says:

    im still stuck in the dark ages but it will be unreal by playoff time

  2. Tswen3 says:

    Wish I could still rock the flow, the recent entrance into the real world has put a damper on my mop.

  3. BackHandToeDrag5 says:

    Tswen, I hear ya man…. Every time I get ‘er going, I have to cut it for a job interview in the real world

  4. Mack Daddy says:

    sickkk lol

  5. boys just slick it back in the real world, you’ll look professional and still have the flow

  6. Bonesy says:

    love the tips!!

  7. Larsy says:

    Dark ages right now are almost unbearable. Need my tasty lettuce back

  8. JuniorMuck says:

    Dark ages are the worst time, just gotta stick with ‘er.

  9. Fin19 says:

    Haha great read.

  10. CaptainKlutch says:

    Nothing like the state tourney here in minnesota!

  11. rsails says:

    i dont look good with the flow…tried it once and it was pretty bad..

  12. I_Toss_Sauce says:

    i wish i had flow

  13. olmer says:

    our team is all getting mullets for playoffs… goin to look sick

  14. Borr98 says:

    i’m around step 2 and 3. haven’t gotten a trim yet but i’m kinda in the dark ages

  15. joeyz1985 says:

    Sweet post!

  16. fhsgoalie30 says:

    hes a peroxide god lmfao

  17. njdevils923 says:

    dark ages. can’t wait till i get out

  18. hazzy says:

    i wish i could grow the lettuce

  19. Icebox89 says:

    In the dark ages…getting comparisons to a certain british pop super group. One day..my flow will be dominate though.

  20. ElijahMarcella11 says:

    had to harvest my lettuce during the summer

  21. cchockey4 says:

    video never get’s old!

  22. OCHC says:

    wanna grow flow sooo bad!

  23. OCHC says:

    These guys have such filthy flow

  24. OCHC says:

    The dark ages are the worst haha

  25. shortsxit says:

    Make sure you take out your ear guards to give your flow some room to breathe.

  26. shortsxit says:

    Anyone else hate it when you get rid of the flow after the playoffs and your helmet is two sizes too big?

  27. Holtzy says:

    I have been trying to perfect the flow for the past 10 years since 6th grade and am still workin on it. I must tame the beast.

  28. njdevils923 says:

    best nhl flow… letang thoughts gongers?

  29. Sick Cellys 19 says:

    Gotta love the hockey flow

  30. Rides says:

    if only i had curly hair

  31. Flow says:

    classic ryan smyth mullet?

  32. macky_27 says:

    already in the works fellas, and the best feature is wearing the flow lid with er

  33. icehole93 says:

    Was about 2 months into growing my flow and, had a wedding last weekend and was in that can’t do anything with it stage had to shave it amd start over again

  34. B-Celley says:

    workin on it fella’s

  35. Griffy83 says:

    The mullets will make a comeback at some point, haha.

  36. rsails says:

    never tried to grow hockey hair before…my head is fairly bad…i think i’m gonna give the flow a try!

  37. smitshow69 says:

    unreal line up..

  38. Sifty21 says:

    HFIP, im nothing compared to these guys, haha

  39. bodangles says:

    dark ages are a dreaded time

  40. murrant says:

    sick tips .. gotta keep them in the back pocket, flowcember is quickly approaching!

  41. gotmokie518 says:

    Love my flow, and my GSH buckeys

  42. JSmyrlJr says:

    Stuck in the Dark Ages right now, HFIP!

  43. buzzin says:

    sweet hair bear

  44. Hansauce89 says:

    If i only i could get some nasty lettuce

  45. scottadams says:

    Jagr’s lettuce is unmatched

  46. Herel says:

    Great tips for great flow

  47. jackal says:

    step 2, cant wait till this 6 months pass

  48. flowmans88 says:

    nothin beats jagrs mullet

  49. tyler_19 says:

    Was rockin the flow until I had to trim it for school,. Back in the dark stages now

  50. Kellsworth10 says:

    such a beauty vid

  51. vanny says:

    wow some filthy flow going on in this video

  52. Bouch says:

    flow hard or flow home

  53. Bomber says:

    best nhl flow… ryan jones (oilers)

  54. lanker96 says:

    nothing better than knowing you have the best flow in the league

  55. dirtymcgirty26 says:

    im now inspired

  56. cchockey4 says:

    had the playoff mullet cut off after we won in march and have been growing it ever sense

  57. santa2aa says:

    Flow is all you need in hockey

  58. 8pmb96 says:

    i love me some guys with sick flow!

  59. Yoo Hate Me says:

    the video and read were both hilarious. no flow here though, my most daring was the mohawk

  60. Rosey says:

    Wow just solid hockey hair

  61. I_Toss_Sauce says:

    wish i had flow like that

  62. Burnssy895 says:

    hockey flow in progress lid? check, unreal sauce information for a beauty yearf? check, cant wait fellas

  63. lamplighter says:

    rocking the flow.

  64. hasser4 says:

    1 word… Jagr

  65. Smeeks says:

    gotta toss that salad

  66. beansauce says:

    bleach flow is too sick

  67. NACMav says:

    “hair looks like a christmas tree”….love it

  68. Doogiehowser says:

    thank god for HFIP lids

  69. fonzogt25 says:

    just started to grow out my flow, hopin it turns out well and makes top 5 next year!

  70. farlow10 says:

    beauty salad

  71. FlowMaster says:

    nothing like some great flow. had mine growing for 5 months now

  72. sully says:

    peroxide jesus …ba ha ha ha

  73. Capn Kev says:

    revisiting these tips

  74. mony48 says:

    great article, my bible. the dark ages always gets me

  75. schmodey says:

    Hahaha “suprised he even played with that biber fever” or “He’s just peroxide king”

  76. MitchSmeth97 says:

    Thats golden

  77. beautygonger97 says:

    Floww

  78. Kelsen_McLean20 says:

    Starter flow is a go!

  79. Mike says:

    Is it true that if you have straight hair then you cant get hockey flow. Thats what my mom told me anyway. You know with the curls and everthing.

  80. Burgos says:

    my flow is in full force. lets goooo

  81. aspen hank says:

    love minnesota :)

  82. chrismartel says:

    Im getting into the ultimate flow, gained show much respect

  83. Kansasboy143 says:

    I’ve been growing my hair from a straight buzz cut for about 6-7 months now but I feel like I’m still at some form of the the dark ages. I have somewhat of a jew fro. Should I get it cleaned up or not trust any scissors near my head for a little while longer?

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